Forums » General discussion

Which do you prefer...Butch or Fem..Or Neither!! And Why???

    • 23 posts
    July 19, 2011 2:34 PM BST

    I prefer tomboy/Butch. What do you ladies prefer? And Why? 

    Just thought it would be fun to find out see if there is a majority!!!

    • 2 posts
    July 19, 2011 3:02 PM BST
    i prefere tomboy but have been with butch and fem ladies in the past and to be honest it doesn't bother me either way. as long as they make me happy then i dont mind what they look like
    • 14 posts
    July 19, 2011 11:35 PM BST
    im butch for sure even tho i don't look like it at all :P

    im fem in appearance,butch in soul

    and why? simply this is who i am!
    • 22 posts
    July 20, 2011 6:55 AM BST
    I really don't have a type... I'll go for anything with a vagina.

    /Whoreism.
    • 67 posts
    August 5, 2011 7:48 PM BST
    I think I'm variable....although not too girly really. According to my bm I'm a chubby chaser! I didn't think I was but looking back none of my ex's was smaller than a size 16 so maybe I am a bit :o
    • 29 posts
    August 5, 2011 8:36 PM BST
    i dont realy have a type alwas look deeper than the skin,but im not a good judge tell by my exs hehe
    • 67 posts
    August 6, 2011 1:55 PM BST
    JumpingMouse said:
    MissTake said:
    I think I'm variable....although not too girly really. According to my bm I'm a chubby chaser! I didn't think I was but looking back none of my ex's was smaller than a size 16 so maybe I am a bit :o

    dito! However I find I'm attracted to almost all butch women! haha... maybe that's my type, but I'm not fussed really!

    I think it's somewhere in the middle for me....ish....

    • 26 posts
    August 27, 2011 4:03 AM BST
    i like a hybrid of butchy fem
    • 5 posts
    August 27, 2011 10:47 AM BST
    TheYoungAsexLez said:
    im butch for sure even tho i don't look like it at all :P im fem in appearance,butch in soul and why? simply this is who i am!

     

    wow. u are soo me o.O

    • 5 posts
    September 13, 2011 3:35 AM BST

    I prefer feminine women..a butch female would be a tad bit difficult for me to be with. I have absolutly nothing against them, but relationship wise, I like those pretty girls. :)


    This post was edited by FlowerChild420x at September 13, 2011 3:36 AM BST
    • 20 posts
    October 12, 2011 10:48 PM BST
    I personally like someone who's fairly similar to myself. Not butch but not a hysterically overdramatic female either. Someone who's just relaxed in themselves and happy to be whoever they feel like being
  • November 9, 2011 7:55 PM GMT

    I'm attracted to girls that are simular to myself, long hair a bit of a tomboy but girly average height and have things in common :) i dont have anyting against butch girls im just not attracted to them. 

     

    Reason - coz its what im attracted too, i dont really have a reason really lol just is :L

    • 1 posts
    November 10, 2011 5:06 PM GMT
    I dont really have a type but dont find butch attractive really. Personality is for me aeverytime, the ability to make me laugh and not ttake themselves too seriously
    • 13 posts
    November 10, 2011 5:40 PM GMT
    i dont really have a type either :)
    • 2 posts
    November 25, 2011 8:59 AM GMT
    I'm attracted to femme always...
    if I wanted to meet someone looking like a man, I'd find a real man.
    • 2 posts
    November 26, 2011 1:32 AM GMT
    Attracted to both but prefer women on the softer side.
    • 9 posts
    December 29, 2011 4:38 PM GMT

    Has to be fem, just not attracted to butch/tomboys at all.

    I like my women girly, like me xD

    • 14 posts
    December 31, 2011 11:40 PM GMT
    Femmes are defo my type :-)
    • 38 posts
    January 1, 2012 5:13 PM GMT
    I think i prefer butch/tomboyish folk. But im not too fussed, i just like girls :)
    • 19 posts
    January 2, 2012 9:25 PM GMT
    i go for who the person is inside not what they look like on the outside.
    • 43 posts
    January 2, 2012 10:16 PM GMT

    I don't have a type; I never have, not really. It's more to do with what kind of girl is underneath the clothes, the style, the front, the mask, the make-up. I like girls is all, and I can’t tell you what kind or type of girl that is, because it differs from person to person at any given time. I suppose i like a girl who knows her own mind and is confident with that, but at the same time exposes a somewhat vulnerable and soft side. I can't be dealing with a girl who's confused or fickle. A sense of humor is also great, someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously and can have a laugh. My ex’s were all shapes and sizes and styles of looks and personality, and I was drawn to each of them for completely separate reasons at certain periods of my life. Looking back at my ex’s, I do often wonder what the hell I was ever thinking, but in the present moment, I obviously found some level of connection and attraction towards them for whatever reason. Mainly, I suppose, I was figuring this whole 'being a lesbian' thing out, and so I would end up hanging out with and getting to know all sorts of people, regardless what type of lesbian they might have been. It's the same with friends. I didn’t even realise there were so many kinds and types, and I don’t care either or pay attention to that. I don’t think about in that way, it’s not how my mind works when getting to know people or developing any kind of feeling or attraction for them. I just like who I like.

     

    I suppose though, if a gun were pointed directly at my head and I had to chose, I’d probably say that I prefer bit more of a girly girl who has a certain strength but along with it vulnerability, but with a slight tomboyish edge. But it’s not that important to me if that wasn’t the type of girl I was with. My fiancée wears dresses sometimes (and looks great!)_, but the next minute she’ll be dressed in joggers (and still looks great), and when we first met she had shorter hair and face piercings (bridge and lip) and now she has hair down past her shoulders and no piercings… has that had any baring on my attraction for her? Not a chance. I feel exactly the same regardless of what she wears, how she cuts or hair or what ‘type she is’ etc. so it’s her personality that has stayed constant, and it’s the personality, the way she talks, how her mind works, how she treats me and makes me feel that is the key thing to why I’m into her and probably always will be. And it was of course what drew me to her in the first place. The fact that she has a pretty face and shit is great, but it wasn’t the unique selling point or the main attraction.

     

    The only one thing I look for in a girl, the shit that gets me interested in a person is something I can’t actually explain, because you’d just have to be me in order to get it. When I talk to or see someone, there’s either this instant feeling or vibe I get about then when I’m around them and in their presence, or there isn’t. If it’s there then I’ll make an effort to pursue it and again, butch or femme, I’ll pursue it or see where it goes. What I typically look for or what gets under my skin is a feeling I get about the person, maybe it’s something about the way they talk, or a certain look in their eye or whatever, it’s just a feeling that makes me feel like I want to get to know them better and that person could be butch, fem or whatever, it doesn’t really translate to me, I see past that sort of thing in general.

     

    To be honest, I don’t believe you really have much choice in whom you’ll end up with, or whom you’ll be attracted to. Often times you’ll tell yourself you have a type but then end up dating someone who doesn’t fit the ideas you had in your head at all and it can surprise you, but I guess it tells you that can’t control that sort of thing, especially once you get to know someone’s personality or whatever else. Plus, I think you’re limiting yourself to the kind of girl you could get to know and have in your life if you’re putting yourself in a box with it like that. Being with someone goes much deeper than what style they rock.

    • 19 posts
    January 2, 2012 11:20 PM GMT
    loverdestroyed said:

    I don't have a type; I never have, not really. It's more to do with what kind of girl is underneath the clothes, the style, the front, the mask, the make-up. I like girls is all, and I can’t tell you what kind or type of girl that is, because it differs from person to person at any given time. I suppose i like a girl who knows her own mind and is confident with that, but at the same time exposes a somewhat vulnerable and soft side. I can't be dealing with a girl who's confused or fickle. A sense of humor is also great, someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously and can have a laugh. My ex’s were all shapes and sizes and styles of looks and personality, and I was drawn to each of them for completely separate reasons at certain periods of my life. Looking back at my ex’s, I do often wonder what the hell I was ever thinking, but in the present moment, I obviously found some level of connection and attraction towards them for whatever reason. Mainly, I suppose, I was figuring this whole 'being a lesbian' thing out, and so I would end up hanging out with and getting to know all sorts of people, regardless what type of lesbian they might have been. It's the same with friends. I didn’t even realise there were so many kinds and types, and I don’t care either or pay attention to that. I don’t think about in that way, it’s not how my mind works when getting to know people or developing any kind of feeling or attraction for them. I just like who I like.

     

    I suppose though, if a gun were pointed directly at my head and I had to chose, I’d probably say that I prefer bit more of a girly girl who has a certain strength but along with it vulnerability, but with a slight tomboyish edge. But it’s not that important to me if that wasn’t the type of girl I was with. My fiancée wears dresses sometimes (and looks great!)_, but the next minute she’ll be dressed in joggers (and still looks great), and when we first met she had shorter hair and face piercings (bridge and lip) and now she has hair down past her shoulders and no piercings… has that had any baring on my attraction for her? Not a chance. I feel exactly the same regardless of what she wears, how she cuts or hair or what ‘type she is’ etc. so it’s her personality that has stayed constant, and it’s the personality, the way she talks, how her mind works, how she treats me and makes me feel that is the key thing to why I’m into her and probably always will be. And it was of course what drew me to her in the first place. The fact that she has a pretty face and shit is great, but it wasn’t the unique selling point or the main attraction.

     

    The only one thing I look for in a girl, the shit that gets me interested in a person is something I can’t actually explain, because you’d just have to be me in order to get it. When I talk to or see someone, there’s either this instant feeling or vibe I get about then when I’m around them and in their presence, or there isn’t. If it’s there then I’ll make an effort to pursue it and again, butch or femme, I’ll pursue it or see where it goes. What I typically look for or what gets under my skin is a feeling I get about the person, maybe it’s something about the way they talk, or a certain look in their eye or whatever, it’s just a feeling that makes me feel like I want to get to know them better and that person could be butch, fem or whatever, it doesn’t really translate to me, I see past that sort of thing in general.

     

    To be honest, I don’t believe you really have much choice in whom you’ll end up with, or whom you’ll be attracted to. Often times you’ll tell yourself you have a type but then end up dating someone who doesn’t fit the ideas you had in your head at all and it can surprise you, but I guess it tells you that can’t control that sort of thing, especially once you get to know someone’s personality or whatever else. Plus, I think you’re limiting yourself to the kind of girl you could get to know and have in your life if you’re putting yourself in a box with it like that. Being with someone goes much deeper than what style they rock.

    well said huni aint it amazin what you learn from different people but its yourself that chooses to notice each person for who they are inside im well impressed with that good on you chick i hope people can read that and take some things into account :o) x

    • 43 posts
    January 3, 2012 12:07 AM GMT
    Exactly. People get way too hung on who they think they want to be with or should be with, because of what they tell themselves they want or like as if it's some kind of check list. It doesn't happen that like, not really.
    • 18 posts
    January 3, 2012 3:01 AM GMT
    True story I go for what my heart tells me however I'm a bit of a chubby chaser I guess all my ex's have been bigger than me but that's okay I love all women :)
    • 1 posts
    January 3, 2012 3:41 AM GMT
    i am a femme and i prefer to have a tomboy whom i will take care my whole life :)