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MY LESSON TODAY

  • November 3, 2018 8:33 AM GMT

    Think to have someone challenging in your life? Not even that one difficult person? Perhaps someone in your office, a friend, professional colleague or, most likely, a family member? Most of us have at least one testing person that keeps us on our toes, or perhaps flat on the floor! Let’s face it, the world has difficult people in it, and no doubt sometimes you and I are problematic too.

    As much as we like to say all people are good, kind and loving, unfortunately these good people often show up as irrevocably trying. There are bullies, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists, and people who really don’t care about others and the environment. We’ve all met these types of wounded people. Maybe we’ve even been them at some point.

    Truth is, the world is filled with wounded people, some more so than others. And unhappy people cause problems. We can often find people who are not as evolved as others. There are genuinely some people who have no problem stepping on others to get where they want to in life. Or who don’t understand why it’s wrong to get ahead by causing suffering to other people and the environment. People who live from a place of extreme individuation, truly thinking of only themselves.

    Difficult people do exist everywhere. Dealing with difficult people is easier when the person is just generally obnoxious or when the behavior affects more than one person. Dealing with them is much tougher when they are attacking you, stealthily or personally criticizing you.

    Difficult people can take many forms. “Difficulty” can manifest itself in quite a few ways, oftentimes, including people who spread rumors, who find the negative in everything, those who rarely cooperate, or who don’t value the input and opinions of others. They may find every opportunity to create problems or they may simply use passive resistance to waylay your best efforts to move your agenda forward.

    At the end of the day, defining “difficult” is a uniquely personal thing. What is challenging to me may be a breeze for you. Understanding your personality, preferences, and triggers can help you to recognize the types of people and situations that irritate you.

    So how do we deal with potentially volatile situations and difficult people? We all want to walk away from a disagreement feeling good about ourselves, and not because we ‘won.’ If you can walk away from a difficult encounter with your dignity and inner calmness, you’re doing well.

    I learned things after I encountered a much regretful and at the same time a learning experience for the first time in my entire life in social media. Personally it will be an unforgettable experienced ever.

     -    You don’t have to fix, change or make everything right. This is not your job, it’s not for you to do. You are in charge of your own life, have responsibility over how you live and how you show up, that’s it. Life becomes really simple when you follow this great wisdom.

     -    The presence or space you bring to a situation either magnifies the issues, or dilutes them. Bringing a peaceful, empowered, clear presence to a fiery situation can transform it. Having a heart uncluttered with hatred, anger and the desire for revenge is your best sacred weapon. This is why taking each interaction with that difficult person as a training ground for deeper empowerment, open heartedness and personal growth, is vital.

    -    It’s about realizing the difficult person is trapped in a way of being, in belief systems, in hatred, in grief, in fear. You can help free yourself by not engaging with the monster of unexpressed emotion. Instead, remain connected to your own heart, inner strength and the spiritual truth, that we are all connected and, at the core, innately good.

    -    It takes great courage and strength to be able to bypass poor behavior without taking it personally and to be able to drop judgment and keep an open heart. Dealing with difficult people does not mean accepting bad behavior. It means responding powerfully with strength and courage, and sometimes it means standing up.

     -    You don’t need to join someone else’s drama party and let them suck you dry because they need attention or want to dump their negative emotions.

     -   You always have a choice in how you respond to situations. Even in the most severe of places. Choice is power. Use it well. Seeing situations for what they are, with wisdom and clarity, and staying unaffected is truly the journey from the victim to the powerful one.

    CONCLUSION…. If you hold grudges and grievances against difficult people, given some time they’ll become part of your personality. Sometimes we can become addicted to being indignant and angry; it strengthens the ego and can give the illusion of having power. We don’t want to be that!Learning how to deal well with conflict and difficult people is a vital life skill that can support you to be a powerful, conscious and compassionate human being. I think it helps to be mindful of the truth of the potential for good and evil within each one of us, and to cut yourself and others a little slack too. We all have bad days, and we all have multiple personalities living inside our head. Let’s just make sure we let the good ones out, well at least most of the time.


    This post was edited by Deleted Member at November 3, 2018 8:42 AM GMT